OK, so nothing funny happened on the WAY to the stress test, but the test was rather humorous. You see, my doc had wanted me to go and get a stress test done since my first visit. I was already a runner when I started to see this sawbones, and I told her so. She was quite surprised, I think, that someone of my “advanced” age was actually out running the streets…literally. She wanted me to have a stress test done as a “baseline” in case anything were to…happen.
I put her off for about a year. Then, I decided to actually run a marathon. I thought it might be a good idea to actually do what the doctor said, for a change. I got around to finishing the marathon before I got round to the stress test. But, I got the referral, made the appointment, and today, was the day.
My doc had referred me to a cardiologist that did the stress test in his office. In his office? You have to know at this point, that I have spent 30 years or so in the engineering departments of hospitals. No one could do a stress test in their office. You had to at least go to an outpatient service, right?
Nope, this doctor had the gear in his office to take care of everything. Dreadmill..I mean treadmill and even an echocardiowhatsitthingy. So, off to the doctor I went this morning with my sweetie. I also have to let you know that the cardiologist is..is, well, he’s either Indian or Pakistani. No, it’s not a racist, “I can’t tell them apart.” It’s an honest, “I can’t tell them apart.” Both cultures are similar to an Anglo like myself and so it’s better to include both so as not to insult one or the other.
After I go through the usual endless filling out of forms, and the waiting, I got to go into the office. The nurse comes in to do the expected blood pressure check, and in this case, take a resting EKG. Those two things seemed normal. After a little bit, the doc comes in and starts on the history. First question, “Didn’t I come see you in hospital?”
“What???” went the brain. “No, I don’t think you came to see me in the hospital, since I haven’t been there.”
“OK…,” and then he went on with the rest of the history questions, which include me telling him my primary doc wanted me to have the test done as a baseline sort of because she was worried about something happening. I didn’t volunteer yet that I was a runner or triathlete. I had planned it that way. I wanted him to find out the hard way. He asked about drinking and smoking (a little and not since 30). He was glad of that, especially about the smoking part. He went on to listen to my heart and lungs to see what he could find out. “Good…Good…Good…” was all I could hear. I tried to make a joke about what he would do if he found something bad, but he didn’t get it.
I had to wait in the waiting room for quite a while until they were ready to do the stress test. They were running another one before me. The doc told me it would take about fifteen minutes, but I forgot to count in doctor minutes, so about a half hour later, I got called back.
Two young ladies were the techs assigned to me and they carefully explained what they were going to do. First would come the echocardiowhatsit and then I would be put on the treadmill. Right…soon comes the treadmill. They wired me up and hooked me to the EKG and then had me lay on my side so they could “slime” me with the transducer for the echocardiowhatsithingy.
While the tech was deftly seeking the best picture with the transducer and working the keyboard of the scanner, she decided upon small talk. “So, why are we seeing you today?” O-kaay, so I figured she probably didn’t know why I was there. I gave her the same story as the doc, which was true. Didn’t seem to phase her at all, she just went on with moving the transducer around and getting readings from different angles, similar to a photographer looking for different angles for a picture.
After taking several readings, the techs finally let me sit up and clean off the “goo” from the transducer and one went to get the doc for the treadmill portion. Oh, yeah? The doc is going to run the treadmill test. What a hoot! Me the crazy runner against the doc controlling the treadmill. But, instead, this machine was automatic. The doc just started it up and watched the screens.
The doc warned me when it would start and off we went…nowhere. Well, it’s still a dreadmill. You don’t go anywhere and no amount of medical technology changes that. It was OK at first. Just an easy walk on a little incline. No biggy. After a little of this, the doc tells me that it will go “faster” in 10 seconds. Oh boy, faster. When it kicked up, I was expecting it to go to a run, and I prepared for that. The doc says not to go to fast. It should just be a walk still. I slowed down and settle in as it was just a fast walk. The doc tells me that he didn’t want me to get too tired too fast. Nooo, certainly not.
A little while later and the doc warns me again of it going “faster”. When it kicked up this time, I did have to go to a slow run, probably about a 12 minute pace or so. I was noticing it get harder, but it wasn’t feeling like it was elevating. Until, I noticed that the poster on the wall to my left was getting lower and lower on the wall. Yeah, we were going up. A little later and the doc tells me to hold it for one minute. One minute? Sure thing doc! One minute it is!
Well, the dreadmill finally came to a halt and I got off. No more fun. The doc tells me in his sing-song voice, “You did 9 minutes! Excellent!” Nine minutes on the treadmill? It better be excellent. I finally told the doc that I was a runner. “Well, of course you can run. You are in good health,” the doc replies.
“Yeah, doc. I think I can run since I’ve been doing that for three years now,” said with not too much pride. The doc seemed pleased. The techs pulled off all the leads (Ouch!) and I prepared to leave. It seems we took so long that the office staff were now on lunch. I waited at the desk to see what was next. The tech started to mention I should return in three months, but asked the doc instead. “No, no need to return. You are in good health. No problem.” And, those were all the words I needed to hear. Happy Running!